Race Report

All those that know me, and were at the track this past weekend, know that I wasn't my usual self. In fact, it's debatable whether or not I even should have been there. I've been going through emotional distress for the past 3 weeks. I've lost 12 pounds because I have no appetite, I sleep approx. 3 to 5 hours per night, have anxiety attacks, the doctor ordered me away from work for 2 weeks, I'm on meds, and my heart is broken. I thought that going to the races would be an outlet, or therapy. I've been running a very unbalanced home/racing life ratio for the last 3 years. Unfortunately in order for me to realize this, I fear that I might have lost the family that is most important to me, forever. I never realized that my personal life is really what holds it all together. Who would have thought that the ever forward-charging, devoted roadracing machine of Alan Schmidt could fall to pieces. Not I.

Sunday morning I felt fine, heading to the track - I was actually upbeat about the day and looking forward to venting on the bike a bit. But things deteriorated, and I had a miserable morning during the qualifiers. My concentration was off, my confidence was non-existant, I was missing all of my marks, and felt completely uncomfortable on the track. In fact, I was a little worried about my own safety - which is a first. Somehow I managed to win all my qualifiers, and earn pole position for 600 Supersport, 600 Superbike, Open Supersport and Open Superbike. Don't ask me how - it definitely wasn't from stellar performace.

I took a lengthy break during lunch to lie under the trees in the grass by myself to clear my head. That's no short order, as how much I miss them consumes my thoughts. I just find myself constantly wishing that they are sharing my experiences. It's almost like life itself is just a constant reminder of it all. I'm not sure if the down time helped, or some of the personal support from some of my friends and people close to me, or a combination of the two - but I managed to gather a little bit of focus for the afternoon.

Open Supersport was first up on the schedule for the afternoon. A huge bug splatted onto my faceshield on the warm-up lap. Great start to the afternoon ... I got the holeshot, and led the entire race. I really didn't find myself though until about lap 5 when we started to get into the lappers. I just couldn't focus with only the open track to deal with. I wasn't looking far enough into the turns, my throttle control was atrocious, and I was basically just all screwed up. As I started to have to pass the lappers though, it gave me something to charge for, and things started to gel. I stretched out a huge lead and won comfortably.

600 Superbike was immediately following, I barely had time to clean the bug off my faceshield, and hopped from one bike to the next without even a sip of water. I can't remember if I got the holeshot or not, but I was quickly in the lead if I didn't. I adjusted to the different power delivery between the 1000 and 600 for the first couple laps, then laid down some decent laps to win by a nice, safe margin.

I finally got into my groove by the time Open Superbike rolled around. I got the holeshot and won by a huge gap. That's about all there is to say there.

I'd say that the 600 Supersport race was my favourite of the day. I finally had some confidence, and the bike seemed to be working well. I kept looking back to see how big the gap was back to second, but not because I was worried about it closing up. I was on a mission. I was pissed, venting, and pushing myself to go faster and faster in a very violent sort of way, jumping curbs, pushing the front end, and going deep on the brakes. I knew that was it for my day, I had pulled through the adversity, and was finally having fun just wringing that little bike's neck around the track. I won by a mile.

So in the end I was the first to see 8 chequered flags in the day. Many people came to congratulate me, and I thank them for that. I'm glad that I'm able to provide some entertainment (especially coming out of turn 9 on the 1000). You'd think I'd be on top of the world driving home last night. You'd think I wouldn't be able to stop talking about it all during dinner (especially if you know me). But it all just doesn't seem to matter. My chest is hollow, and my head is on the hearts that I've broken. Mine, and those that I care for. It was a very long drive. For the family that I love, me, everyone that cares for us, and my racing career - I hope that I get a chance to right the wrongs that I've done.

A special thanks to my trusted friend (and pit slave) Andy Nelson, Suzuki, GPR Stabilizers, Flexi-Glass bodywork, Over-the-Top Performance, Gateway Powersports, and PSI leathers for coming up big for me this weekend. I couldn't have done it without you. But an even more important thank you goes out to my friends, family and supporters that took the time to talk, provided advice, and helped me to temporarily deal with my issues. I hope to see a very sunny sky on the horizon, but right now it's a nasty storm, and I have to deal with the fact that I created it.